The Provence Glossary

Table of Contents

Part I: The Essentials - things you're bound to hear every game
Part II: Player-Specific - Matt usually has a nickname for each player. Find out who's who.
Part III: Personal - get to know Matt
Part IV: Classic Quotes - the funniest quotes from Matt
Part VI: Miscellaneous - other good stuff

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The Essentials

Chop, Baltimore - a ball that takes a high bounce near home plate making it difficult for the fielder to field it in time and throw out the runner at first base

Cuuuuuut on and missed, strike three - opposing batter strikes out

Forrrgeeeet Aboouuuut Itttt! - Matt's trademark home run call

Heeeeeeee struck him out! - IronPigs pitcher gets a strikeout

How do ya like that? - something interesting just happened involving the Pigs

How do ya like every bit of this?! - when "How do ya like that?" just isn't enough

Oy Vey - things aren't going well for the IronPigs

Pigs fly, PIGS fly, PIGS FLYYYY! - the IronPigs win

Slithers and delivers - the pitcher is about to throw the ball towards home plate

Wheels and deals - the pitcher is about to throw the ball towards home plate

Winds and fires - the pitcher is about to throw the ball towards home plate

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Player-Specific

A knockout punch by Tyson! - Tyson Brummett. Used after a strike out.

Downtown Domonic Brown - Domonic Brown

For Pete's sake, eh? - former IronPigs and current Phillies infielder Pete Orr

From down under to over and out! - Tim Kennelly. IronPigs infielder who grew up in Australia. First used after his two-run home run in Pigs debut on May 15, 2012.

Georgia Punch - former IronPigs outfielder Brandon Moss. Usually used after a home run.

He's a maniac, Furmaniak - former IronPigs shortstop J.J. Furmaniak

Hits me baby one more time - Pawtucket's Nate Spears gets a hit

Holy Kratz! - Erik Kratz

Jose Cant-Stand-Ya - Gwinnett outfielder Jose Constanza. Constanza usually hits well against the IronPigs.

Mayday! Mayday! - former IronPigs and current Phillies outfielder John Mayberry, Jr. Usually used after a home run.

Moss Hog - former IronPigs outfielder Brandon Moss

Oh so Savery! - Joe Savery

Oops he did it again - Pawtucket's Nate Spears gets another hit

Rhymes, R-h-y-m-e-s...as in Busta Rhymes - Durham infielder Will Rhymes

Richie Rich - Rich Thompson

Tagg, you're it! - former IronPigs infielder Tagg Bozied

The juice is loose! - former IronPigs outfielder Delwyn Young

The Little Cat - Andres Blanco

The Mighty Tracy - former IronPigs first baseman and current Williamsport manager Andy Tracy

The Statue of Hittery - former IronPigs first baseman Jeff Larish

The Tremendous T's - former IronPigs Michael Taylor, Andy Tracy, and Terry Tiffee

Viva La Frandsen - Kevin Frandsen

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Personal

Base, First - Matt's position on his high school baseball team. He says of his days as a first baseman, "I could scoop with the best of them."

Giants, New York - Matt's favorite football team

Hillcats, Lynchburg - member of the Class-A Advanced Carolina League; spent many years affiliated with the Pirates; currently tied to Atlanta after spending 2010 affiliated with Cincinnati. Matt's former employer; sometimes inadvertently refers to them instead of the Pigs. Submitted by Bob in Jersey.

Institute of Technology, New Jersey (NJIT) - Matt's offeseason employer; does play-by-play of Highlanders men's and women's basketball

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Classic Quotes

"Beat Charlotte once, beat Charlotte twice, tomorrow they'll try to make Charlotte their lady." - on Pawtucket's doubleheader sweep of Charlotte, 8/9/11

"Beautiful rainbow out there tonight. ROYGBIV...red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet...This stadium is no pot of gold however." - date unknown

"Ben & Jerry's, Carvel eat your heart out! What a scoop by Tracy!" - date unknown

"Death, taxes, and Domonic Brown base hits." - after Domonic Brown extended his hitting streak to 21 games (August 1, 2011)

"Et tu, TC?" - after Reading's Cesar Hernandez guesses fastball, but gets a change-up from Tom Cochran during the 2012 Rt. 222 Showcase. Matt said right beforehand, "Cesar must feel like he got stabbed in the back right there." April 3, 2012

"He may be Wilk and I may be in the booth, but Frandsen is the assassin." - at Toledo (May 10, 2011)

"He tied him up like a pretzel, but he's not from Hanover. He's from Virginia." - after former IronPigs pitcher Scott Mathieson struck out a Norfolk batter (August 8, 2011)

"He's like a John Deere 3000 mowing people down out there!" - on Brian Gordon's performance at Gwinnett (June 1, 2011)

"He's serving up more fouls than Colonel Sanders." - date unknown

"He walks back to the dugout like a toddler who has just been told his dog was hit by a car." - May 9, 2012

"If Woody had gone right to the police..." - the predicament the IronPigs are currently in could have been avoided. Spoken (repeatedly) by a Dick Tracy-like detective in Universal Pictures' Woody Woodpecker cartoon "Bunco Busters," released in 1955.  Submitted by Bob in Jersey.

"I had better scoops than Ben & Jerry's." - on his career as a high school first baseman (August 9, 2011)

"I have a few other choice words I don't think the FCC would like!" - date unknown

"I'm not an entomologist, but I do eat a lot of Entenmann's." - during a discussion on how moss grows during the rain prior to Game 1 of the 2011 Governors' Cup Playoffs (September 8, 2011)

"I thought you only did that in Church league softball!" - date unknown

"It's a Cuban Missile Crisis for Suarez!" - during a five-run inning by the IronPigs against Rochester pitcher and Cuban defector Deinys Suarez (August 18, 2011)

"Not sure where that pitch was, but there are 9,388 unemployed umpires here who disagree." - original date unknown. Matt often uses this phrase when the crowd disagrees with a call.

"Palm Beach, Florida...sounds like a great place to live. You got palms. You got beaches. You're in Florida." - August 8, 2011

"Start the merry-go-round!" - as IronPigs runners race around the bases during Cody Overbeck's triple on July 15, 2011 vs. Syracuse

"The old glass Joe fastball on the chinny chin-chin." - August 2, 2011

"The Red Wings are coming! The Red Wings are coming! says Revere." - in reference to Red Wings outfielder Ben Revere. May 26, 2011.

"The ump has a Tropicana strike zone today...freshly squeezed!" - the home plate umpire has a small strike zone. Commonly used by Matt.

"There are two Brian Basses in the dugout because he is probably beside himself right now!" - following a five-run inning by the IronPigs offense in support of starting pitcher Brian Bass. August 4, 2011.

"They have more singles than a hoppin' Manhattan night club on a Saturday evening." - during a discussion about the amount of singles the Indianapolis Indians had in the current series. May 10, 2012.

"Three pops, three outs. It's an Orville Redenbacher deluxe inning." - August 9, 2011

"Where is Roseto, PA? I know there's a stone there...a bilingual stone!" - May 2, 2012

"You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit in the wind, and you don't try to run on Erik Kratz!" - August 8, 2011

"You know the saying "you are what you eat?" If that's the case I'm going to have to defect because I've had a couple of Cuban sandwiches tonight." - date unknown

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Miscellaneous

Mills Cup - the prize in the Carolina League playoffs. See: Hillcats, Lynchburg. Submitted by Bob in Jersey.

Have a good Provence-ism not listed? Comment below and I'll add it to the list.